HIV Positive Dating

HIV: Relationships and Sexual Partners

AIDS Meds published the following article on the

For those who are single and are HIV positive, if and when to disclose can be addressed in different ways. Some people prefer to get the issue out into the open immediately. They will make their HIV infection known right away, sometimes even before a first date. Others prefer to wait and see if the relationship is going to develop beyond a first date or casual dating. Still others feel that as long they’re having safer sex, the risk is minimal to the other person, so why even bring the subject up.

With regards to dating, or in casual or anonymous sexual situations, conventional wisdom holds that people with HIV are supposed to inform other people before having sex with them. In many states, there are specific laws relating to disclosure which actually make it a crime not to disclose. Most of these laws were passed in the early years of the epidemic and reflected ignorance and fear about HIV. As a matter of practicality, they have generally proven difficult to enforce.

The reality is that, if you’re practicing safer sex consistently, the risk to others is low, and ultimately what realistically matters most is what you do sexually, not what you say.

Perhaps the real benefit of disclosing to a date or to a casual or anonymous sex partner is for you personally. It takes strength of character to be honest in such a circumstance. At the same time, telling someone you are HIV positive at the beginning of a possible relationship or before having sex puts you in a vulnerable position. It’s never easy to predict if you’ll receive a positive or negative response.

Although now many more people know about safer sex and how the virus is transmitted, fear and stigma are still a reality in relation to HIV, and disclosure can stir up very strong emotions in others. You need to know that your status will deter some from proceeding further while many will not allow it stand in the way of either sex or a relationship.

General dating and sexual partner disclosure issues to consider:

  • Keep what you say as simple and as direct as possible.
  • Give yourself credit if you have been practicing safer sex with the sexual partner you’re disclosing your status to. You are already behaving responsibly with that person.
  • If the person you’re disclosing to reacts negatively, remember that’s only one person. Not everyone is going to react the same way.
  • Remember that you should give the person you’re disclosing your status to some time process the information. Whatever their reaction may be at first, whether negative or positive, be aware that reactions can change in time.

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Comments

  • Vavavoomvk

    Personally, I would rather just stay single rather than to face rejection. Been single gor 5 years and am ok with it. Its not ideal, but Im ok

  • mapetz100

    it’s not fine to be single we all need someone we can call a partner. unless you do one night stands

  • posloving

    I agree mapet with regards to the fact that you can’t remain single. Sometimes we do need sexual attention. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. Still finding it hard to disclose my status to any potential but don’t mean I don’t want to date

  • ebonysam

    being single is not healthy. it sometimes lead to frustration and deteriorating health condition.

  • Cinderella

    I am also thinking of staying single for now

  • Muzi

    Being positive is not as bad as i thought it would be for me…I am living my life pretty well.

  • Muhle2015

    As long as we both respect and understand each other “i think having a partner is not a bad thing”

  • Mdakacharity

    We all deserve to be loved despite our hiv+ status, we must be single Only if God has not yet provided us with suitable partners but not single cause we are hiv+
    I’ve been hiv+ for 15yrs and I still believe there’s my suitable companion/partner out there no matter how long I have to wait to meet him and trust me I will be patient ….so let’s all walk with pride even if when we are hiv+

  • Mdakacharity

    I’ve been positive for 15yrs, a single mother to a 14yr daughter & 4yr son and when I discovered I was positive most people assumed I have atleast a year to live but I made a promise to myself that I was gonna live longer & more than 10yrs and I prayed to God to use me as a lesson to most that being hiv+ is not aa death sentence but a life sentence, and I am a living testimony that there’s life after finding out your hiv+ it all starts with accepting,stop blaming & taking responsibility…. I say to my brother’s and sister’s ” what doesn’t kill me makes me strong” as long as I have God by my side anything is possible.
    Hiv is never a death sentence but life sentence cause the minute you know your status you take control of your life and live life…..
    Let it start with me taking responsibility….. And educate each other.

  • Joshua

    One might be strong for now resorting to be single but trust me it will catch up with you in the end. Have been single for 10 years and counting the longer you stay single the worse it becomes. Take it from me, go out and meet people. It will benefit you in more ways you can think of.

  • thembie

    Being single is not nice,i still believe there r ppl who do not judge but supportive n would love irrespective.im one of them